Name:
Date:
Review dates:
The following steps represent my plan for increasing my
safety and preparing in advance for the possibility for further violence. Although I do not have control over my
partner’s violence, I do have a choice about how to respond to him/her and how
to best get myself and my children to safety.
Step 1: Safety
during a violent incident.
Women cannot always avoid violent incidents. In order to increase safety, battered women
may employ a variety of strategies.
I can use some or all
of the following strategies:
A.
If I decide to leave, I will . (Practice how to get out safely. What doors, windows, elevator, stairwells
or fire escapes would you use?)
B.
I
can keep my purse and car keys ready and put them (place) in order to leave quickly.
C.
I
can tell about the violence and request they call
the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from my house.
D.
I
can teach my children how to use the telephone to contact the police and the
fire department.
E.
I
will use ___________________ as my code word with my children or my friends so
they can call for help.
F.
If
I have to leave my home, I will go ______________________. (Decide this even if you don’t think there
will be a next time.)
G.
If
I cannot go to the location above, then I can go to ________________________ or
_____________________.
H.
I
can also teach some of these strategies to some/all of my children.
I.
When
I expect we are going to have an argument, I will try to move to a space that
is lowest risk. Such as ____________. (Try to avoid arguments in the bathroom, garage, kitchens, near weapons,
or in rooms without access to an outside door.)
J.
I
will use my judgment and intuition. If
the situation is very serious, I can give my partner what he/she wants to calm
him/her down. I have to protect myself
until I/we are out of danger.
STEP 2: Safety when
preparing to leave.
Battered women frequently leave the residence they share
with the battering partner. Leaving must
be done strategically in order to increase safety. Batterers often strike back when they believe
that a battered woman is leaving a relationship.
I can use some or all
of the following strategies:
A.
I
will leave money and an extra set of keys with ___________________________
_________________ so I can leave quickly.
B.
I
will keep copies of important documents or keys at _________________________.
C.
I
will open a savings account by _________________, to increase my
independence. I will have statements of
the account go to _________________________________.
D.
Other
things I can do to increase my independence include:
E.
The
domestic violence program’s hotline number is _________________. I can seek shelter and information by calling
this hotline.
F.
I
can keep change for phone calls on me at all times. I can understand that if I use my telephone
credit card, the following month the telephone bill will tell my batterer those
numbers that I called after I left. To
keep my telephone communications confidential, I must either use coins or I
might get a friend to permit me to use their telephone credit card for a
limited time when I first leave.
G.
I
will check with ___________________ and _________________________ to see who
would be able to let me stay with them or lend me some money.
H.
I
can leave extra clothes with __________________________.
I.
I
will sit down and review my safety plan every ____________________ in order to
plan the safest way to leave the residence. ____________________________ (domestic violence advocate or friend) has
agreed to help me review this plan.
J.
I
will rehearse my escape plan and, as appropriate, practice it with my children.
Step 3: Safety in
my own residence.
There are many things that a woman can do to increase her
safety in her own residence. It may be
impossible to do everything at once, but safety measures can be added step by
step.
Safety measures I can
use include:
A.
I
can change the locks on my doors and windows as soon as possible.
B.
I
can replace wooden doors with steel/metal doors.
C.
I
can install security systems including additional locks, window bars, poles to
wedge against doors, an electronic system, etc.
D.
I
can purchase rope ladders to be used for escape from second floor windows.
E.
I
can install smoke detectors and purchase fire extinguishers for each floor in
my house/apartment.
F.
I
can install an outside lighting system that lights up when a person is coming
close to my house.
G.
I
will teach my children how to use the telephone to make a collect call to me
and to _______________________ (friend/minister/other) in the event that my
partner abducts the children.
H.
I
will tell people who take care of my children which people have permission to
pick up m y children and that my partner is not permitted to do so. The people I will inform about pick-up
permission include:
School __________________________________________
Day care staff __________________________________
Babysitter ______________________________________
Sunday school teacher ___________________________
Others __________________________________________
Step 4: Safety with a protection order.
Many
batterers obey protection orders, but one can never be sure which violent
partner will obey and which will violate protection orders. I recognize that I may need to ask the police
and the courts to enforce my protection order.
The following are some
steps that I can take to help the enforcement of my protection order:
A.
I
will keep my protection order __________________________ (location). (Always keep it on or near your person. If you change purses, that’s the first thing
that should go in).
B.
I
will give my protection order to police departments in the community where I
work, in those communities where I usually visit family or friends, and in the
community where I live.
C.
I
can call the local domestic violence program if I am not sure about “B” above
or if I have some problem with my protection order.
D.
I
will inform my employer, my minister, my closest friend, and
____________________ and _________________________ that I have a protection
order.
E.
If
my partner destroys my protection order, I can get another copy from the
courthouse by going to the Clerk of Courts located at
_____________________________________.
F.
If
my partner violates the protection order, I can call the police and report a
violation, contact my attorney, and/or advise the court of the violation.
G.
If
the police do not help, I can contact my advocate or attorney and will file a
complaint with the chief of the police department.
H.
I
can also file a criminal complaint with the prosecutor in the jurisdiction
where the violation occurred. I can
charge my battering partner with a violation of the protection order and all
the crimes that he commits in violating the order. I can call the domestic violence advocate to
help me with this.
Step 5: Safety on the job and in public.
Each battered woman must decide if and when she will tell
others that her partner has battered her and that she may be at continued
risk. Friends, family and co-workers can
help to protect women. Each woman should
consider carefully which people to invite to help secure her safety.
I might do any or all of
the following:
A.
I
can inform my boss, the security supervisor, and ___________________________ at
work of my situation.
B.
I
can ask _____________________ to help screen my telephone calls at work.
C.
When
leaving work, I can ______________________________________________.
D.
When
driving home if problems occur, I can ________________________________.
E.
If
I use public transit, I can ______________________________________________.
F.
I
can use different grocery stores and shopping malls to conduct my business and
shop at hours that are different than those when residing with my battering
partner.
G.
I
can also __________________________________ .
Step 6: Safety and drugs or alcohol consumption.
Most people in this culture consume alcohol. Many consume mood-altering drugs. Much of this consumption is legal and some is
not. The legal outcomes of using illegal
drugs can be very hard on a battered woman, may hurt her relationship with her
children and put her at a disadvantage in other legal actions with her
battering partner. Therefore, women
should carefully consider the potential cost of the use of illegal drugs. But beyond this, the use of any alcohol or
other drugs can reduce a woman’s awareness and ability to act quickly to
protect herself from her battering partner. Furthermore, the use of alcohol or other drugs by the batterer may give
him/her an excuse to use violence. Therefore, in the context of drug or alcohol consumption, a woman needs
to make specific safety plans.
If drug or alcohol
consumption has occurred in my relationship with the battering partner, I can
enhance my safety by some or all of the following:
A.
I
f I am going to consume, I can do so in a safe place and with people who
understand the risk of violence and are committed to my safety.
B.
I
can also ________________________________________.
C.
If
my partner is consuming, I can ________________________________.
D.
I
might also _____________________________________.
E.
To
safeguard my children, I might __________________________ and
_________________________
Step 7: Safety and
my emotional health.
The experience of being battered and verbally degraded by
partners is usually exhausting and emotionally draining. The process of building a new life for myself
takes much courage and incredible energy.
To conserve my
emotional energy and resources and to avoid hard emotional times, I can do some
of the following:
A.
I
feel down and ready to return to a potentially abusive situation, I can
___________ ________________________________.
B.
When
I have to communicate with my partner in person or by telephone, I can ___________________________________.
C.
I
can try to use “I can . . . “ statements with myself and to be assertive with
others.
D.
I
can tell myself ____________________________________ whenever I feel others are
trying to control or abuse me.
E.
I
can read _________________________ to help me feel stronger.
F.
I
can call _____________________________________________ and
_____________________________ as other resources to be of support to me.
G.
Other
things I can do to help me feel stronger are: __________________________.
H.
I
can attend workshops and support groups at the domestic violence program or
________________________, ______________________________, or
________________________ to gain support and strengthen my relationships with
other people.
Step 8: Items to
take when leaving.
When women leave partners, it is important to take certain
items with them. Beyond this, women
sometimes give an extra copy of papers and an extra set of clothing to a friend
just in case hey have to leave quickly.
Items with asterisks on the following list are the most
important to take. If there is time, the
other items might be taken, or stored outside the home.
These items might best be placed in one location, so that if
we have to leave in a hurry, I can grab them quickly.
When I leave, I should
take:
·
Identification
·
Children’s
birth certificates
·
My
birth certificate
·
Social
security cards
·
School
and vaccination records
·
Money
·
Checkbook,
ATM card
·
Credit
cards
·
Keys
– house/car/office
·
Driver’s
license and registration
·
Medication
·
Welfare
identification
·
Work
permits
·
Green
card
·
Passport(s)
·
Divorce
papers
·
Medical
records – for all family members
·
Lease/rental
agreement, house deed, mortgage payment book
·
Bank
books
·
Insurance
papers
·
Small
saleable objects
·
Address
book
·
Pictures
·
Jewelry
·
Children’s
favorite toys and/or blankets
·
Items
of special sentimental value
Telephone numbers I
need to know:
Police
department – home _________________________
Police
department – work __________________________
Police
department – school __________________________
Battered
women program __________________________
County
registry of protection orders ________________________
Work number
_________________________
Supervisor’s
home number _____________________________
Minister ________________________________
Other
_______________________________